Why Does It Exist?

Archive for March, 2012|Monthly archive page

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Podcast #17: Hard Cash (2002)

In Podcasts on March 26, 2012 at 8:57 pm

Mister Troyer... Are you... trying to seduce me?

We’re not always about farts and Burts here at Why Does It Exist? Sometimes we really delve into film history, analyzing trends and genres with depth and intelligent discussion. This week’s episode has us analyzing a document of unimaginable historical importance: Hard Cash, the very first direct-to-video action movie for both Val Kilmer and Christian Slater. History speaks of game changers; this, my friends, is a whole new game.

Witness as Kilmer robs Marlon Brando’s not-quite-dead body for all possible forms of showboating nonsense! Imagine a world peopled exclusively with shitty old brown cars from the 80’s! Hear about Darryl Hannah’s extremely low pleather pants! Marvel at the idea of Verne Troyer climbing out of the toilet! Sit in stunned silence as we explore the untold marvels of Hard Cash!

Along with us for this ride is Montreal-based filmmaker and former roommate Louis Lazaris. You can view Louis’ videos here and look at various other things that he’s done here. His video for the band Young Lungs drops in April, and his short film Something More Than Nothing (co-directed by Why Does It Exist? grand poobah Alex Rose) is set to air on CBC in 2012.

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Our featured song this week is Hold On (Throw It At Your Dad’s House) by Goose Hut. You can find them online here and here.

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Podcast #16: Thunderpants (2002)

In Podcasts on March 18, 2012 at 7:16 pm

We are now accepting donations in order to blow up this fine depiction of glistening manmeat for Roxane as a going-away present. Give generously.

We say goodbye to collaborator and all-time most frequent guest Roxane Hudon as she sets sail for Glasgow with THUNDERPANTS, a British kitchen-sink comedy about a small boy who harvests the power of his incessant farts in order to shoot off into space. Rupert Grint plays his best friend, a lil’ scientist type. Also, Paul Giamatti is involved.  We have the world’s pre-eminent expert on Rupert Grintology in the studio to help us unpack the dense mystery that is THUNDERPANTS.

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Music this week is courtesy of Bones Malones. The track ‘A Better Way’ can be found on his 2011 album Calyptophone, available here. Due to the Internet crapping out on us mid-podcast, we did not mention on-air that Bones Malones will be joining Trigger Effect for a show at Petit Campus in Montreal on April 13th, 2012, as well as Divan Orange with Ryan McNally on May 24th. Check it out!

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Podcast #15: The Toughest Man in the World (1984)

In Podcasts on March 11, 2012 at 4:08 pm

A picture is worth a thousand words, and none of those are The Toughest Man in the World.

Justin Bieber is pretty much the Mr. T of 2012, right? This is an undisputable fact. What Bieber maybe isn’t, though, is The Toughest Man in the World, a title that apparently belonged to the elusive Mr. T in this 1984 TV movie. T plays a tough but fair basketball coach who’s forced to perform in a strength competition in order to save the rec center from blah blah blah blah. Lots of fight scenes, pickle-chucking action, kids that dress like Alex, Mr. T in short shorts, a prominent role for Dan’s idol, Dennis ‘Big Daddy’ Dugan, and wholesome fun for the whole family! We also unveil our first ever listener email and explore the new sensations that it gives Dan in his fancy pants.

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Featured this week is the track LonelyAcorn by Charlotte Cornfield off her album Two Horses. She is currently on an extensive tour of the USA and Canada, check out the dates here.

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Podcast #14: Camp Hell (2011)

In Podcasts on March 4, 2012 at 1:28 pm

The only accurate thing about this cover is the spelling of Eisenberg's name. I think.

Terrible movies often have to straight-up lie in order to con people into watching them; this is a tried-and-true technique that goes back to stag loops being played out in dingy parlours in the 1920s (probably). It happens twofold in Camp Hell, a movie that so obviously lies that Hollywood A-lister Jesse Eisenberg actually sued the production company for using his likeness in a movie that he does nominally appear in. Presented as a Red State-ish religious horror movie, Camp Hell is actually a limp-ass Catholic guilt psychological thriller that barely features Eisenberg at all. Spawn comic books, dry-humping, masta-bation and DEMONIC POSSESSION all come to a head in a very boring manner.

In this episode, we learn about Dan’s tangled religious past, Alex’s begrudging love of ska and the finer points of felching balls. We also meet TIMMY AND THE DEMON, Why Does It Exist?’s official shock-jock morning radio duo. Write us at whydoesitexist@gmail.com to enter the FORGET ABOUT IT contest and win the actual fucking copy of Forget About It that we watched!

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Music this week provided by The Damn Truth – you can download the track ‘Kinda Awkward’ for free here. The Damn Truth will be performing at Cherry Cola’s (200 Bathurst) as part of Canadian Music Week in Toronto on March 21st and at Quai des Brumes (St-Denis, corner Mont-Royal) in Montreal on March 23rd.