Why Does It Exist?

Podcast #4: A Smoky Mountain Christmas

In Podcasts on December 22, 2011 at 11:44 pm

Despite the fact this movie has a pyjama-clad John Ritter and an evil witch named Jezebel, most of it plays out like this.

Amidst all this talk of banning the word Christmas, last-minute shopping frenzies and desperately trying to find your ‘fat pants’, we at Why Does It Exist? are proud to bring you a moment of respite. Allow yourselves to be lulled to the sweet sound of our Christmas special, an in-depth discussion of the trailblazing Dolly Parton vehicle A Smoky Mountain Christmas. Co-starring Lee Majors as the world’s cleanest hermit and directed by none other than The Fonz, it’s the heartwarming tale of how Dolly Parton is so awesome at everything that her life ends up sucking because of it.

Hear as we marvel at the levels of trickery that make it possible for Dolly Parton to play a guitar with her talon-like fingernails! Weep uncontrollably as we outline the troubling life stories of the amorphous blob of orphans she may or may not end up adopting! Hoot in ecstasy at the appearance of deus ex Ritter! Squeal with delight at the surprise cameo appearance by platinum-selling pop architects The Jingle Cats! Explode with rage as Alex fails to identify Gremlins as the best Christmas movie of all time!
PS: You may notice that Dan’s roommates are partying rather hard in the background. A regular podcast would have relocated or even rescheduled, but our dedication means we power through even the most raging of parties to watch Dolly Parton movies in the most reverent silence.

Music for this episode provided by Chix ‘N Dix. You can find them online here or here or see them play a show almost every week, it seems. There’s a reason why I’m about to refer to them as the hardest-working punk rock band in Montreal.

Pick your poison:
See you all next week and remember, if you like our podcast, rating and writing a review on iTunes helps us get more exposure and highly increases your chances of obtaining oral sex from one of the hosts!

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